Stikyoggan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest hippopotamus.

Stikyoggan created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stikyoggan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stikyoggan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stikyoggan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Stikyoggan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five foxes approach from the north.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stikyoggan.

4. Do not take Stikyoggan's name in vain.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.