Bopyikcem is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, egotistical pigeon.

Bopyikcem created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopyikcem, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bopyikcem, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bopyikcem's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bopyikcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.