Tonktimvol is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonourable giraffe.

Tonktimvol created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonktimvol, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonktimvol, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tonktimvol's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tonktimvol's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never feed tomatoes to grasshopers while wearing orange ear rings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.