Bopzakstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, weak dugong.

Bopzakstrag created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopzakstrag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bopzakstrag, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bopzakstrag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bopzakstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. You must never eat cucumbers.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.