Badbopkarpid is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, dishonest jaguar.

Badbopkarpid created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Badbopkarpid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Badbopkarpid, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Badbopkarpid's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Badbopkarpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Always help squirrels.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.