Arphugjan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, vain zebra.

Arphugjan created the Sol system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arphugjan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Arphugjan, he will be very sad.

Arphugjan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Arphugjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Always help seals.