Padmanhom is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish badger.

Padmanhom created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Padmanhom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Padmanhom, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Padmanhom's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Padmanhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Padmanhom.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Padmanhom.

5. Always obey Padmanhom's priests.