Dodkik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty gorilla.

Dodkik created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodkik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dodkik, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dodkik's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Dodkik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven seals approach from the west.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always obey Dodkik's priests.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.