Wapnakquimwanmet Quathapfob Zenxem is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish rhinoceros.

Wapnakquimwanmet Quathapfob Zenxem created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapnakquimwanmet Quathapfob Zenxem, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wapnakquimwanmet Quathapfob Zenxem, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Wapnakquimwanmet Quathapfob Zenxem's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Wapnakquimwanmet Quathapfob Zenxem's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.