Arftencem is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable owl.

Arftencem created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arftencem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arftencem, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arftencem's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Arftencem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. You must never eat aubergines.

5. Fast once a month.