Vegkipfar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful lion.

Vegkipfar created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegkipfar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vegkipfar, he will turn you into a dog.

Vegkipfar's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vegkipfar's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vegkipfar.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not commit murder.