Arptofsafbim is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, blissful faun.

Arptofsafbim created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arptofsafbim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arptofsafbim, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arptofsafbim's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Arptofsafbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Arptofsafbim.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Do not kill dolphins.