Gudransab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking hippopotamus.

Gudransab created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudransab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gudransab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gudransab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gudransab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help swans.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Foxes are not to be trusted.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.