Bun is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented tortoise.

Bun created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Bun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bun, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bun's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to goats while wearing mauve tights.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must love Bun.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bun.

5. Never talk about birds.