Hotarphom Gabzanget Veendapjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, moody gnu.

Hotarphom Gabzanget Veendapjarn created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hotarphom Gabzanget Veendapjarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hotarphom Gabzanget Veendapjarn, he will not care at all.

Hotarphom Gabzanget Veendapjarn's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hotarphom Gabzanget Veendapjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide if four shrews approach from the east.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat oranges.