Spagarmrul is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unfair crow.

Spagarmrul created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagarmrul, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagarmrul, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Spagarmrul's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Spagarmrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the west.

5. Respect your elders.