Tailmabmat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous parrot.

Tailmabmat created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailmabmat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tailmabmat, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tailmabmat's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tailmabmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tailmabmat.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.