Tonstafnurlcabtimpiddot is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage ferret.

Tonstafnurlcabtimpiddot created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonstafnurlcabtimpiddot, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tonstafnurlcabtimpiddot, he will turn you into a dog.

Tonstafnurlcabtimpiddot's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tonstafnurlcabtimpiddot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

3. Always help moths.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.