Xucknablab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, annoying bear.

Xucknablab created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucknablab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xucknablab, he will think nothing of it.

Xucknablab's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Xucknablab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away from mauve squirrels, for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Xucknablab on top of all buildings.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Always obey Xucknablab's priests.