Vadtunwab is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, self-assured spider.

Vadtunwab created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadtunwab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vadtunwab, she will come to you in dreams.

Vadtunwab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vadtunwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vadtunwab.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not listen to music.