Jantaparn is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic crane.

Jantaparn created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jantaparn, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jantaparn, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jantaparn's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Jantaparn's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.