Midfombim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring jackal.

Midfombim created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midfombim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Midfombim, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Midfombim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Midfombim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.