Quagfabteen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, generous hedgehog.

Quagfabteen created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagfabteen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quagfabteen, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quagfabteen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Quagfabteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Never wear magenta kilts.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.