Hinsitmid is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humorless squid.

Hinsitmid created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Hinsitmid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hinsitmid, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hinsitmid's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Hinsitmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt pigs.

2. Never talk about sharks.

3. Always treat geese with great respect.

4. Always help otters.

5. Never talk about gravity.