Nelabjab is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, able beaver.

Nelabjab created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelabjab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nelabjab, she will not invite you to parties.

Nelabjab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nelabjab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nelabjab.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Never talk about nematodes.