Kopbutfut is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless dugong.

Kopbutfut created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopbutfut, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kopbutfut, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Kopbutfut's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Kopbutfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Kopbutfut loves bats, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Erect three nickel sculptures of Kopbutfut on top of important buildings.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.