Quartquatmotwan is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless newt.

Quartquatmotwan created the Sol system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartquatmotwan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartquatmotwan, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Quartquatmotwan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Quartquatmotwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about onions.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quartquatmotwan.

4. Never mention ants.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quartquatmotwan.