Stiglidflam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, all-powerful crocodile.

Stiglidflam created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiglidflam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stiglidflam, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Stiglidflam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Stiglidflam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stiglidflam.

2. Feed all hungry nematodes.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Always help badgers.