Quillcapyokbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow ant.

Quillcapyokbonk created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillcapyokbonk, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quillcapyokbonk, she will boil you in a big pot.

Quillcapyokbonk's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Quillcapyokbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never laugh near cats.

5. You must pray to Quillcapyokbonk eight times a day.