Narltenarmvonxuckfomfly is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish hamster.

Narltenarmvonxuckfomfly created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narltenarmvonxuckfomfly, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Narltenarmvonxuckfomfly, it will refuse to believe in you.

Narltenarmvonxuckfomfly's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Narltenarmvonxuckfomfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Worship no other gods but Narltenarmvonxuckfomfly.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Never talk about comets.