Nigmeg Jop is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, clever clam.

Nigmeg Jop created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Nigmeg Jop, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nigmeg Jop, he will be mildly annoyed.

Nigmeg Jop's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Nigmeg Jop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick squirrels.

2. Never wear red jumpers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.