Fatmutquat is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane monkey.

Fatmutquat created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatmutquat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fatmutquat, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fatmutquat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fatmutquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Fatmutquat on top of all buildings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Fatmutquat loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.