Lagminxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, effective penguin.

Lagminxuck created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagminxuck, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lagminxuck, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lagminxuck's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Lagminxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about geese.

2. Erect six copper sculptures of Lagminxuck on top of important buildings.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.