Dossflapcip is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, merciless squirrel.

Dossflapcip created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dossflapcip, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dossflapcip, she will turn you into a mouse.

Dossflapcip's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Dossflapcip's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine tortoises approach from the north.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Pray towards the west.