Donjoport is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish squirrel.

Donjoport created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donjoport, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Donjoport, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Donjoport's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Donjoport's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Donjoport loves sharks, so they must be respected.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.