Padcatfet is a god.

She takes the form of a large, proud manatee.

Padcatfet created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Padcatfet, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Padcatfet, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Padcatfet's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Padcatfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never feed onions to ducks while wearing turquoise shoes.

3. Never mention pigs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.