Hamtapjat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring chicken.

Hamtapjat created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtapjat, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hamtapjat, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hamtapjat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Hamtapjat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six pigs approach from the west.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hamtapjat loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.