Zimquartwat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, idiotic weasel.

Zimquartwat created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimquartwat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zimquartwat, he will try to impress you with trees.

Zimquartwat's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Zimquartwat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away if five foxes approach from the east.

4. Do not eat carrots.

5. Do not take Zimquartwat's name in vain.