Jipmumfasnegkaptig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous toad.

Jipmumfasnegkaptig created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipmumfasnegkaptig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jipmumfasnegkaptig, he will send minions to preach to you.

Jipmumfasnegkaptig's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Jipmumfasnegkaptig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple ants, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about ducks.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. You must pray to Jipmumfasnegkaptig six times a day.