Lighinyatt Gepbenzog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful snake.

Lighinyatt Gepbenzog created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lighinyatt Gepbenzog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lighinyatt Gepbenzog, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lighinyatt Gepbenzog's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Lighinyatt Gepbenzog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never think about galaxies.