Yarlsabcan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, all-knowing fish.

Yarlsabcan created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlsabcan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarlsabcan, it will not invite you to parties.

Yarlsabcan's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Yarlsabcan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo doves for they are unholy.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away if five nematodes approach from the east.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.