Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, two-faced zebra.

Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis, she will turn you into a sheep.

Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Run away if five birds approach from the north.

4. Always obey Arncebweglegyamfotwon Fatbommis' priests.

5. Do not make images of living things.