Dutlarpjan Kemvogfas is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless salamander.

Dutlarpjan Kemvogfas created the Sunflower Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutlarpjan Kemvogfas, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutlarpjan Kemvogfas, it will come to you in dreams.

Dutlarpjan Kemvogfas' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dutlarpjan Kemvogfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always treat cats with great respect.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Retreat if eight squirrels approach from the south.

4. Worship no other gods but Dutlarpjan Kemvogfas.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.