Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unselfish cat.

Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt, he will turn you into a rock.

Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt on top of all buildings.

5. Put Fengabtettilarplitsaknurt first in all things.