Dabban is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, kind crane.

Dabban created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabban, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dabban, he will turn you into a hamster.

Dabban's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dabban's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six squirrels approach from the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always obey Dabban's priests.

5. Dabban must be the most important thing in your life.