Ratkopkan is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless crocodile.

Ratkopkan created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratkopkan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ratkopkan, it will not invite you to parties.

Ratkopkan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Ratkopkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Ratkopkan loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Never look at galaxies.