Timgempom is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful rhinoceros.

Timgempom created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Timgempom, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Timgempom, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Timgempom's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Timgempom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Feed all hungry seals.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.