Somzedvansit is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring crane.

Somzedvansit created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somzedvansit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Somzedvansit, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Somzedvansit's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Somzedvansit's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of moths.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Erect five iron sculptures of Somzedvansit on top of important buildings.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Never pour water over plants.