Higpadvon Bumyarpnell is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, annoying dugong.

Higpadvon Bumyarpnell created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Higpadvon Bumyarpnell, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Higpadvon Bumyarpnell, it will turn you into a puffin.

Higpadvon Bumyarpnell's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Higpadvon Bumyarpnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick badgers.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Higpadvon Bumyarpnell.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think about gravity.