Somjapgep Lopbedtinvighomgentin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, moody goblin.

Somjapgep Lopbedtinvighomgentin created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Somjapgep Lopbedtinvighomgentin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Somjapgep Lopbedtinvighomgentin, he will turn you into a slug.

Somjapgep Lopbedtinvighomgentin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Somjapgep Lopbedtinvighomgentin's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Somjapgep Lopbedtinvighomgentin.